Please Be Patient, My Mom Took Tylenawl — Funny Baby Onesie

This is not a cute outfit. This is a disclosure garment.

Somewhere along the way, your mom took Tylenol. Then came you. Now the people at daycare, the grocery store, and the pediatrician's waiting room deserve to know what they're dealing with — before things escalate.

The Please Be Patient, My Mom Took Tylenol Onesie does the explaining so you don't have to. It's a wearable warning label. A tiny infant press release. A courtesy to everyone in a five-foot radius.

Fine Print (read before approaching the baby):

• This baby requires patience. Budget accordingly.
• Brain development may not have followed the recommended schedule.
• Do not attempt to reason with this baby using logic or eye contact.
• This onesie is the only documentation you're getting.
• Side effects of interacting with this baby may include confusion, unsolicited parenting opinions, and existential dread.

A genuinely funny baby shower gift, a novelty onesie for chronically-online new parents, or a comfort item for the baby who arrived with the vibes of a Terms & Conditions document nobody read. Soft, durable, and ethically labeled. Machine washable — because of course something had to be easy.