Premium Bone Vault Schematics — Funny Medieval History Tee
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
Why let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in gold-plated, hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic graphic tee breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository, pitched directly from the heavens.
Approved by 4 out of 5 martyred saints for maximum posthumous brand visibility. We stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a medieval reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint.
- Includes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing
- High-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage
- Bring your own martyr (BYOM)
- Void if bones begin to weep scented oils
Printed on an ultra-soft, 100% cotton premium t-shirt. True-to-size unisex fit for optimal breathability while you plot your eternal aesthetic.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |