Processing Your Claim — Funny Social Security Skeleton Tee

In the grand tradition of mid-century government pamphlets that promised everything would be fine, we present a sincere update on your retirement. A cheerful rubber-hose office drone hands a crumbling brick labeled YOUR FUTURE to a skeleton seated at a desk marked SOCIAL SECURITY. The caption reads: PROCESSING YOUR CLAIM. The visual language says 1930s animation; the content says read the actuarial tables. Wear this dark humor graphic tee to your financial advisor's office or while explaining to a 22-year-old that yes, they are paying into this right now.

• Claim No.: 000-00-0000
• Claimant Status: Optimistic
• Estimated Processing Time: Longer Than You Have
• Current Queue Position: Behind several discretionary defense appropriations

Printed on a soft, 100% cotton classic unisex tee. True to size, tear-away label, and ships substantially faster than your pension kicks in.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.