
Processing Your Claim — Funny Social Security Skeleton Tee
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
In the grand tradition of mid-century government pamphlets that promised everything would be fine, we present a sincere update on your retirement. A cheerful rubber-hose office drone hands a crumbling brick labeled YOUR FUTURE to a skeleton seated at a desk marked SOCIAL SECURITY. The caption reads: PROCESSING YOUR CLAIM. The visual language says 1930s animation; the content says read the actuarial tables. Wear this dark humor graphic tee to your financial advisor's office or while explaining to a 22-year-old that yes, they are paying into this right now.
- Claim No.: 000-00-0000
- Claimant Status: Optimistic
- Estimated Processing Time: Longer Than You Have
- Current Queue Position: Behind several discretionary defense appropriations
Printed on a soft, 100% cotton classic unisex tee. True to size, tear-away label, and ships substantially faster than your pension kicks in.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |