Silent Reading Flesh Wedge — Mug
About this item
- What it is. White durable ceramic. BPA-free and lead-free.
- Microwave and dishwasher safe.
- Printed by sublimation, so the design will not peel or scratch off.
- Sizes. 11 oz · 15 oz
- Care. Dishwasher safe on the top rack.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Remember the warm nostalgia of elementary school, when the teacher demanded absolute silence and compliance was non-negotiable? We've upgraded the classic pink bevel for today's authoritarian learning environments. Cast in hyper-realistic, slightly clammy synthetic tongue flesh, this desktop staple enforces library hour with brutal, anatomical literalism.
It is the perfect back-to-school essential for intimidating a chatty seatmate or leaving a disturbingly moist smudge over your scantron errors. Stamped with a cheerful 'SILENT READING' right across the papillae, it serves as a tactile reminder that your voice is a classroom privilege, not a right.
- Textured for maximum grip and zero backtalk.
- Leaves a faint, coppery-tasting residue on standardized tests.
- Does not require hydration, though it may sweat under pressure.
- Property of the school district. Do not attempt reattachment.
Frequently bought together
This item: Silent Reading Flesh Wedge — Mug
Product information
| Brand | Printify |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | Mug |
| Date first available | August 15, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #4 in things nobody requested |
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The same design, on other things
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