Still Processing Bomb Bird Shirt — Funny Anxiety Tee

You are doing the work. You are setting boundaries. You are holding space. Unfortunately, your feelings are a live cartoon explosive currently lodged in your upper GI tract. This funny mental health graphic tee features a scruffy avian that serves as the exact avatar of the modern journey: maintaining a dead-eyed, unblinking stare while digesting a literal bomb, calmly waiting for the inevitable catastrophic detonation while using the correct clinical vocabulary.

Stop letting lifestyle influencers tell you that deep breathing will fix the fact that you just swallowed a lit fuse. This comfortable unisex anxiety shirt is perfect for the group chat where everyone is vibrating with unexpressed panic but hiding it behind wellness buzzwords. Let the outside world know you are currently at capacity.

THE FINE PRINT:

• Digestive tract rated for up to 50 megatons of suppressed rage.
• Mindfulness exercises will not extinguish the fuse.
• Not a substitute for professional explosive ordnance disposal.
• Breathe in, breathe out, detonate.
• Premium, soft cotton blend because you are suffering enough already.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.