Team Player Smoking Pelican — Funny Corporate Burnout Tee

Human Resources has identified your refusal to swallow active explosives as a 'cultural fit' issue. The modern corporate ecosystem demands total psychological containment. Being a 'team player' simply means internalizing enough unmitigated rage and structural panic to level a city block, all while maintaining a firm handshake and hitting your Q3 deliverables.

Behold your new corporate avatar on this funny graphic tee: a severely sleep-deprived pelican in a mandatory necktie, chain-smoking through the pain while literally holding lit dynamite in its distended flesh pouch. A visceral, sweating monument to everyone currently holding it together by a single, frayed, management-mandated thread. The perfect gag gift for your most burnt-out coworker.

• Side effects of extreme synergy may include spontaneous workplace detonation.
• Fully compliant with all mandatory Return-To-Office directives.
• Issued by the Weird Castle Department of Human Capital Containment.

Classic unisex fit, comfortable breathable cotton. Ships fast so you can wear it to your next mandatory all-hands meeting.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.