Terminal Evolution Hoodie — Funny Carcinization Crab Evolution

Science proves that over millions of years, diverse organisms keep independently evolving into crabs. It is called carcinization, and it means your current fleshy, upright-walking meat-sack phase is just an awkward transitional state on the way to becoming a heavily armored bottom-feeder.

• Premium cotton/poly blend, far softer than a rigid exoskeleton
• Kangaroo pocket for hiding your weak, un-evolved human hands
• Drawstring hood to conceal your embarrassing lack of eyestalks
• Sideways walking in this pullover is the most efficient way to avoid eye contact with management

Gildan 18500 unisex hooded sweatshirt, classic fit, 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²). 50% cotton, 50% polyester. Pouch pocket. Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord. Ribbed cuffs and hem. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.