The Michael Blueprint T-Shirt — Funny Michael Myers

The undisputed pinnacle of late-twentieth-century bio-mechanical engineering is finally available as the ultimate horror mashup shirt. By synthesizing the relentless, unkillable stalking mechanics of Haddonfield’s favorite slasher with the anti-gravity lean and sequenced glitter of a pop deity, R&D has patented a device capable of terrifying a babysitter while hitting a perfect falsetto. Rendered in the cold, unfeeling lines of an industrial schematic, this funny Halloween tee exposes the inner workings of the ultimate hybrid organism.

• Subject will instinctively moonwalk past fleeing victims to optimize dramatic tension.
• Warning: Do not stare directly into the sequined butcher knife.
• Auditory sensors trigger unprompted crotch-grabbing and high-pitched vocalizations in the presence of teenagers.
• Patent null and void if exposed to open flame, gratuitous sequels, or 1990s documentary crews.

A classic unisex fit perfect for surviving October or confusing people at the grocery store.