Two Wars, Zero Service — The Civil War Veteran Hat Bundle
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
You didn’t serve in one. You didn’t serve in two. But now you can dress like you did both.
The Two Wars, Zero Service bundle gets you both Civil War Veteran hats — the original (1861–1865) and the sequel (TBD) — so you can claim service across two American conflicts that you absolutely did not participate in. One hat for the war that happened. One hat for the war that hasn’t. Maximum fake valor, one discounted price.
Why Buy the Bundle
Buying them separately means two transactions, two shipping charges, and two moments where you have to explain to your bank why you’re purchasing satirical military headwear. The bundle eliminates one of those moments and saves you money. That’s called strategy — something a real veteran would appreciate.
Perfect For
- People who want to confuse everyone at the barbecue
- Gift sets for the friend who has opinions about everything
- Wearing one and leaving the other on your dashboard as a conversation piece
- Anyone who thinks America’s best days are both behind and ahead of us
Returns + Exchanges
We accept returns within 30 days. Both hats must be unworn and in original condition. Your two-war veteran status, however, is permanent and non-transferable.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.