Unexpected Item In Bagging Area — T-Shirt

You finally drag yourself out of the food chain, conquer the wilderness, and catch a writhing, slippery meal with your bare claws, only to be stopped by a glowing touchscreen demanding you weigh your kill. This is the ultimate defeat of the natural world: an 800-pound apex predator, completely paralyzed by the phrase 'Please wait for a cashier.'

There is nothing more humiliating than submitting to a computerized kiosk that refuses to acknowledge the barcode on a violently flapping fish. A tribute to the soul-crushing friction of modern convenience, where even a creature capable of decapitating a moose is reduced to angrily jabbing a screen because it accidentally hit 'skip bagging.'

The Fine Print:

• Item barcode not found on scales, fins, or exposed viscera.
• Store associate is currently hiding in the breakroom.
• Card only; machine does not accept mauled carcasses.
• Please remove your claws from the scanner bed.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.