Unintelligible For My Own Safety Hoodie — Psychedelic Frog Weird Stuff
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About this item
The optimization engines are listening, and they are desperate to file you into a highly monetizable spreadsheet cell. The only viable defense against a machine built to parse human behavior is to become aggressively, chemically impossible to understand. Ribbit your way out of the demographic bracket and embrace the safety of total incoherence with this anti-surveillance hooded sweatshirt.
Featuring a blindingly toxic retro 80s aesthetic, this psychedelic amphibian graphic is a monument to linguistic evasion. If your thoughts don't make sense, they can't be categorized, processed, or subpoenaed. Be the brightly colored swamp juice in the server room. The perfect weird gift for the chronically online paranoid poster in your life.
- Guaranteed to scramble local sentiment-analysis algorithms and confuse targeted ads.
- Colors so loud they cause a syntax error in neighborhood smart home devices.
- Warning: Chronic nonsense may result in permanent exclusion from the algorithm.
A classic, comfortable fit for prolonged sessions of avoiding digital categorization and evading rogue AI.
Product details
- Base product. Gildan 18500
- Material. 50% cotton, 50% polyester. Heather Sport colors: 60% polyester, 40% cotton.
- Fabric weight. 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)
- Fit. Classic fit
- Details. Pouch pocket
Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord
Ribbed cuffs and hem
Tear-away label - Decoration. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front
Shipping & returns
For made-to-order items, allow production time plus shipping time. These are separate estimates measured in business days, not a guaranteed arrival date. Check the product description for stocked items. Shipping times and tracking help.
Request a return within 30 days after delivery. Eligible items must be unused or unworn, with tags, original packaging and proof of purchase. Contact us before sending anything back; accepted returns receive a shipping label.
Sale items, gift cards and custom or personalized orders have exclusions. See the full refund policy for all conditions, exceptions and regional rights. For damage, defects or the wrong item, contact us promptly.
Size guide
Gildan 18500
Compare with a garment you own, laid flat. Chest width is measured across the garment, not around your body. Measurements are approximate.
| Size | Chest width in / cm | Body length in / cm |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20.08 / 51.0 | 27.17 / 69.0 |
| M | 22.05 / 56.0 | 27.95 / 71.0 |
| L | 24.02 / 61.0 | 29.13 / 74.0 |
| XL | 25.98 / 66.0 | 29.92 / 76.0 |
| 2XL | 27.99 / 71.1 | 31.10 / 79.0 |
