Everything › Unpaid Domestic Decathlon — Tee
Unpaid Domestic Decathlon — Tee
$2999
Size: S
Color: Athletic Heather
About this item
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
- Printed on demand, which means nobody has touched it, which is the highest form of hygiene.
- Ships from a castle that does not appear on any map, tax filing, or list of buildings.
- Arrives before the war. Everything here arrives before the war.
Welcome to the world’s most grueling, least-compensated endurance sport. This claymation masterpiece honors the heavyweight champions of the unpaid domestic labor force, competing daily in the 400-meter laundry haul and the freestyle bleach-huffing event for absolutely zero prize money or broadcast rights.
You think you know peak human athletic performance? Try carrying fifty pounds of damp cotton, an industrial mop, and three bottles of toxic degreaser up a flight of stairs while a dependent casually asks what's for dinner. Rep the only amateur athletic league where the medals are just lingering resentment and cracked cuticles.
- Sanctioned by the International Federation of Unpaid Labor.
- Performance-enhancing substances (caffeine, pure spite) are heavily encouraged.
- Scoring is entirely based on how much guilt can be successfully leveraged.
- Winner receives the prestigious prize of doing it all again tomorrow.
$2999
FREE delivery before the war. Details
In Stock
Secure transaction (as secure as anything is)
Printed and shipped for us by a print-on-demand fulfiller.
Real garments, real tracking. Returns & refunds
· Contact a human
Frequently bought together
This item: Unpaid Domestic Decathlon — Tee
Total price:
$105.99
Product information
| Brand | Printify |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | T-Shirt |
| Date first available | August 8, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #38 in things nobody requested |
Customer reviews
Loading reviews…
Write a review
Reviews are read by a person before they go up. The Machine is not allowed to write them, and neither are we.
The same design, on other things
Products related to this item Sponsored ⓘ
Unpaid Domestic Decathlon — Tee
