We Buy Teeth Shirt — Funny Retro Bandit Sign Tee

The economy is in the toilet, but your mouth is a goldmine. Forget flipping real estate or hawking diabetic test strips on a highway off-ramp—the real street hustle is strictly calcium. We took the grimiest roadside bandit sign in existence and gave it the glorious, iced-out 90s rap bootleg treatment it deserves.

The Tooth Fairy is a scam engineered to underpay minors. This is adult business. Cash in hand, no questions asked, zero paperwork. Whether you lost them in a bar fight, pulled them in a parking lot, or just woke up with a handful of them, we are liquid and ready to buy.

• Premium rates for intact bicuspids and gold crowns
• We do not require proof of ownership
• Plaque will be deducted from total weight at time of sale

A standard retail fit perfect for late-night parking lot transactions and dental hustles.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.