5-Hour Felony Hoodie — Funny 5-Hour Energy Parody

Right between the unregulated delta-8 gummies and the dust-covered rhino pills sits the ultimate checkout-counter impulse buy. We took Dr. Jekyll's original Victorian serum for unleashing mankind's basest, most violent urges and designed a funny energy drink parody hoodie around it. Why drink coffee to survive a shift when you can wear a tribute to neon sludge that immediately overrides your moral compass?

This unhinged novelty hoodie isn't for finishing a spreadsheet; this is for terrorizing the locals and biting the side-view mirrors off parked cars. Do not wear if you have a conscience, a pulse, or a pending court date.

• Contains 40,000% of your daily recommended malice
• May cause spontaneous cane-assaults and top hat materialization
• The FDA has actively begged us to stop mailing them samples
• Not responsible for any crimes committed while your alter-ego has the wheel

An ideal gag gift for night shift workers, chaos enthusiasts, and connoisseurs of questionable gas station supplements.