5-Hour Felony Sticker — Funny Energy Drink Parody
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Surface: White
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
Right between the unregulated delta-8 gummies and the dust-covered rhino pills sits the ultimate checkout-counter impulse buy. We took Dr. Jekyll's original Victorian serum for unleashing mankind's basest, most violent urges and crammed it into a two-ounce plastic bottle that tastes aggressively of blue raspberry. Why drink coffee to survive a shift when you can down neon sludge that immediately overrides your moral compass?
This funny energy drink parody sticker isn't for finishing a spreadsheet; this is for terrorizing the locals and biting the side-view mirrors off parked cars. Do not consume if you have a conscience, a pulse, or a pending court date.
- Contains 40,000% of your daily recommended malice
- May cause spontaneous cane-assaults and top hat materialization
- The FDA has actively begged us to stop mailing them samples
- Not responsible for crimes committed while your alter-ego has the wheel
An ideal gag gift for night shift workers or unhinged friends, this weird novelty sticker ships flat and applies smoothly to laptops and notebooks.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
