Active Choking Hazard Funny Warning Label Sticker
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
The Consumer Product Safety Commission wants you to believe small parts are passive hazards waiting to be ingested. They are lying to you. The truth is that the small parts have been training, they recognize no weight classes, and they are actively looking to submit things ten times their size.
This funny warning label sticker is for the ungovernable. A public notice for your laptop, bumper, or water bottle that you are not a passive risk factor, but a disproportionate, feral menace. Let them underestimate your mass. You only need three seconds and a clear path to the carotid.
- Not suitable for children under 3 years, or anyone lacking basic takedown defense.
- In the event of a rear-naked choke from a synthetic polymer brick, tap out immediately.
- Premium waterproof vinyl sticker withstands scratches, dishwashers, and your feral asymmetry.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.