Basic Baphomet Shirt — Funny Goth Tumbler Graphic Tee

Hell is empty, and the dark lords are currently carrying 40-ounce pastel hydration vessels through a suburban parking lot. Baphomet didn't endure millennia of occult persecution just for you to suffer from a mild dehydration headache. Drink your water, you beautiful, doomed vessel of flesh.

This funny satanic graphic tee is a monument to the only two things holding your psyche together: a vague allegiance to the dark arts and aggressive, performative hydration. Wear it when the structural collapse of society finally hits—at least your emotional support cup will keep your iced matcha cold while you perish.

• Will not fill the gaping existential void in your chest
• Fits comfortably in most summoning circles and Target aisles
• Classic unisex fit (size up if you want to hide from your responsibilities)
• Hydrate aggressively, perish eventually

Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex jersey tee, retail fit, 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²). 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. Ribbed knit collar. Tapered shoulders. Dual side seams. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.