Bestiary of 3 AM Degeneracy — Hoodie

For centuries, these stoic creatures of stone watched over the sacred cathedrals of Europe. Now, they watch over the flickering fluorescent hum of a 24-hour gas station. This exquisite 15th-century woodcut chart documents the true nocturnal habits of mythological beasts when they finally get off the clock.

Marvel at the masterfully etched linework capturing a winged chimera absolutely housing a roller taquito. Witness a hunchbacked gargoyle furiously scratching a $5 lotto ticket with a stolen quarter, while a wyvern rips a mango-flavored box vape by the ice machine. Ancient esoteric craftsmanship, perfectly applied to the lowest forms of modern vice.

• Historically accurate depictions of terrible life choices
• Zero (0) winning scratch-offs depicted in this tapestry
• Vape clouds rendered in painstaking medieval crosshatching
• Banned from the local 7-Eleven since the 1490s