Bestiary of 3 AM Degeneracy — Tee

For centuries, these stoic creatures of stone watched over the sacred cathedrals of Europe. Now, they watch over the flickering fluorescent hum of a 24-hour gas station. This exquisite 15th-century woodcut chart documents the true nocturnal habits of mythological beasts when they finally get off the clock.

Marvel at the masterfully etched linework capturing a winged chimera absolutely housing a roller taquito. Witness a hunchbacked gargoyle furiously scratching a $5 lotto ticket with a stolen quarter, while a wyvern rips a mango-flavored box vape by the ice machine. Ancient esoteric craftsmanship, perfectly applied to the lowest forms of modern vice.

• Historically accurate depictions of terrible life choices
• Zero (0) winning scratch-offs depicted in this tapestry
• Vape clouds rendered in painstaking medieval crosshatching
• Banned from the local 7-Eleven since the 1490s

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.