Cartilage Jackpot — Funny Getting Old Hoodie

Getting old is just a waiting game for your structural integrity to collapse, so you might as well make it interesting. Skip the mega-millions and put your crumpled dollar bills toward a payout you actually need: a fresh, glistening set of load-bearing cartilage. This funny aging gag gift hoodie is perfect for anyone whose knees sound like a bag of crushed gravel when they stand up.

• Must be 18 years or older to claim bone density.
• Grand prize paid out in unverified, warm bio-matter behind a 7-Eleven.
• Odds of winning are exactly the same as your insurance covering a replacement (0%).
• By wearing this, you forfeit the right to complain about your lower back.

Features a classic fit that is perfect for layering while your mortal vessel slowly deteriorates.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.