Cartilage Jackpot Shirt — Funny Getting Old Gag Gift Tee

Getting old is just a waiting game for your structural integrity to collapse, so you might as well make it interesting. Skip the mega-millions and put your crumpled dollar bills toward a payout you actually need: a fresh, glistening set of load-bearing cartilage. This funny getting older t-shirt is the perfect gag gift for anyone whose knees currently sound like a bag of crushed gravel.

The ultimate degenerate fantasy isn't a yacht, it's getting out of a low chair without audibly groaning. Just scratch away the silver film with a dirty penny and pray for three matching menisci. You can't take it with you, but you'd at least like to walk to the bathroom.

• Must be 18 years or older to claim bone density.
• Grand prize paid out in unverified, warm bio-matter behind a 7-Eleven.
• Odds of winning are exactly the same as your insurance covering a joint replacement (0%).
• By playing, you forfeit the right to complain about your lower back.

A hilarious novelty gift for 40th, 50th, or 60th birthdays, featuring a retail fit that's perfect for everyday existential dread.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.