Eat The Router Sticker — Funny Logged Off Wi-Fi Router

You set your Slack status to 'Away.' You put an auto-responder on your email. But you know they can still reach you. The only true way to log off is to violently consume the infrastructure tying you to the grid. This 19th-century gentleman raw-dogging a broadband box with fine cutlery is the ultimate out-of-office statement.

Perfect for anyone whose self-care routine involves staring at the blinking green WAN light and hallucinating it as a warm meal. A jarring visual car crash of Victorian gentility and 90s chrome hip-hop typography, designed for the unoptimized gremlin who knows that closing the laptop is never enough. You have to digest the signal.

• May cause intense gastrointestinal buffering.
• Does not include dipping sauce for the ethernet cables.
• HR has flagged your digestion as a network security risk.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.