Ficus Dentata Sticker — Funny Plant Parent Teeth Horror
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Surface: White
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About this item
Being a plant parent isn't just a hobby, it's a lifestyle of constant, quiet terror. There is nothing quite like the morning ritual of misting the terracotta, softly whispering words of affirmation, and watching the raw pink gums throb as a fresh adult molar finally crowns through the potting soil.
Sure, monsteras and succulents are easier to propagate, but they don't chatter affectionately when there's a draft in the apartment. Perfect for the dedicated indoor gardener who knows that real domestic bliss requires patience, indirect sunlight, and exactly sixty-two yards of waxed mint floss every fortnight.
- Requires twice-daily brushing and a fluoride drip
- Do not place near sleeping pets or unsupervised fingers
- Spontaneous bleeding indicates poor drainage
- May attempt to swallow weaker, less carnivorous houseplants
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.