Flock Off Shirt — Funny Birds Aren't Real Conspiracy Tee

Executed in a gritty, mixed-media punk zine aesthetic, this funny conspiracy theory shirt is the official insignia of knowing exactly what those little black box cameras are doing. Let the local homeowners association and the precinct know you see them seeing you with the ultimate anti-surveillance tee. Whether you're a staunch believer that birds aren't real or you just prefer they kindly flock off, this is your new everyday uniform.

• Does not emit a localized EMP to disable neighborhood watch equipment.
• Birds might not be real, but the panopticon absolutely is.
• Aluminum headgear strictly for the wearer's peace of mind.
• Direct all data privacy inquiries to the nearest aggressively hostile pigeon.

An everyday favorite for dodging drone surveillance in absolute comfort.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.