Four Honest Inches — Tee
Size guide
True to size, unisex fit. Measurements are the garment laid flat, in inches.
| Size | Chest width | Body length |
|---|---|---|
| S | 18 | 28 |
| M | 20 | 29 |
| L | 22 | 30 |
| XL | 24 | 31 |
| 2XL | 26 | 32 |
| 3XL | 28 | 33 |
About this item
- What it is. Bella+Canvas 3001 — 100% Airlume combed and ringspun cotton, 4.2 oz. Heather colours are a cotton/polyester blend.
- Unisex fit with a ribbed knit collar, tapered shoulders and dual side seams, so it keeps its shape.
- Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks. The design sits in the fabric, not on top of it.
- Sizes. S · M · L · XL · 2XL
- Care. Machine wash cold inside out, tumble dry low. Do not iron the print.
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
Size guide — will it fit?
| Size | Length (in) | Chest width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 | 18 |
| M | 29 | 20 |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
Measured flat, so chest width is half the full circumference. Unisex sizing runs true — if you are between sizes, size up for a looser fit. Not sure? Lay a shirt you already like face down and measure that.
Let's talk about realistic expectations. In a world obsessed with infinite growth and exaggerated metrics, this cheerful little invertebrate is here to ground you in biological reality. It's not the size of the ruler, it's the unrelenting enthusiasm of the 1930s rubber-hose cartoon holding it.
Say goodbye to the crushing pressure of the tape measure. This vintage-style mascot is the perfect champion for the unbothered, the statistically normal, and anyone exhausted from constantly rounding up. Be proud. Be honest. Be a worm wielding a small piece of wood.
The Fine Print:
- Ruler calibrated for maximum self-esteem.
- Measurements officially taken from the base, obviously.
- Not legally binding in a dating app bio.
- 100 percent immune to cold water shrinkage.
Frequently bought together
This item: Four Honest Inches — Tee
Product information
| Brand | Printify |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | T-Shirt |
| Date first available | August 27, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #2 in things nobody requested |
Customer reviews
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