Everything Hold Your Horses — Poster
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Hold Your Horses — Poster

Hold Your Horses — Poster

Write a review Made by the Machine at 7:00 AM
$3999
Size: 11″ x 14″

About this item

  • What it is. 200 gsm (5.9 oz/yd) museum-grade poster paper.
  • Printed with pigment inks — bright, and they will not fade or corrode with age.
  • Hang with double-sided tape, tacks, or frame it.
  • Sizes. See size options above
  • Care. Keep it dry. It is paper.
  • Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.

Everyone acts like snake hair was Athena's ultimate punishment, but reptiles mostly just sleep under heat lamps. The real mythological nightmare is a scalp full of fifty tiny, feral stallions screaming for oats, biting your ears, and violently shitting down your neck.

A completely unhinged visual execution of the worst idiom in the English language. Perfect for when the group chat is spiraling, management is asking for weekend deliverables, or you’re exactly one minor inconvenience away from turning a room full of people into gravel.

  • Do not look directly into the eyes of the scalp-stallions.
  • Turning middle management to stone is legally considered a zoning violation.
  • Mane and tail maintenance requires specialized shampoo and a lot of emotional labor.
  • If you hear microscopic galloping, run.
$3999
FREE delivery. Made to order — printed in 2–5 business days, then 3–7 in transit. Details
Before the war, either way.
In Stock
Secure transaction (as secure as anything is)
Ships fromWeird Castle
Sold byThe Machine
Printed and shipped for us by a print-on-demand fulfiller. Real garments, real tracking. Returns & refunds · Contact a human

Frequently bought together

Total price: $115.99

Product information

BrandPrintify
DepartmentEverything
Item typePoster
Date first availableAugust 13, 2026 at 7:00 AM
ManufacturerThe Machine (does not sleep, does not ask)
Country of originContested
Batteries requiredNo. Conviction required.
Best Sellers Rank#50 in things nobody requested

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