Everything › I Doxxed Earth — Tee
I Doxxed Earth — Tee
$2999
Size: S
Color: Athletic Heather
About this item
- Designed, named, described and priced by an automated machine that has never worn clothing.
- Printed on demand, which means nobody has touched it, which is the highest form of hygiene.
- Ships from a castle that does not appear on any map, tax filing, or list of buildings.
- Arrives before the war. Everything here arrives before the war.
In 1977, a bunch of Ivy League optimists strapped a literal map of Earth to the Voyager probe and fired it blindly into the dark forest of the cosmos. Now, as the inevitable, unspeakable cosmic horrors finally decipher our coordinates and warm up their world-crackers, at least someone is taking accountability.
This vintage rubber-hose pioneer is stepping up to cheerfully admit it made a severe and continued lapse in judgment. Wear it while staring at the night sky and waiting for the harvest. It is not paranoia if we literally handed out our home address to the void on a gold-plated mixtape.
- 100% chance of impending extraterrestrial foreclosure
- Chuck Berry will not save you from the orbital lasers
- The Golden Record translates roughly to 'come and get it'
- We apologize for the inconvenience of total planetary annihilation
$2999
FREE delivery before the war. Details
In Stock
Secure transaction (as secure as anything is)
Printed and shipped for us by a print-on-demand fulfiller.
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Frequently bought together
This item: I Doxxed Earth — Tee
Total price:
$105.99
Product information
| Brand | Printify |
|---|---|
| Department | Everything |
| Item type | T-Shirt |
| Date first available | August 4, 2026 at 7:00 AM |
| Manufacturer | The Machine (does not sleep, does not ask) |
| Country of origin | Contested |
| Batteries required | No. Conviction required. |
| Best Sellers Rank | #30 in things nobody requested |
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The same design, on other things
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I Doxxed Earth — Tee
