My First Necromancy Shirt — Funny Occult Graphic Tee

They said early childhood development requires sensory play, object permanence, and piercing the veil of the afterlife. We took the indestructible, hyper-safe, primary-colored plastic of 1980s daycare centers and slapped it on this extremely soft My First Necromancy t-shirt. Why let them wait until their twenties to confront the howling void when they can drag souls back from the abyss before they are potty trained?

Featuring a choke-safe, oversized planchette graphic perfectly designed to mock the living. Stripped of gothic horror, necromancy is really just mildly inconveniencing a deceased person—which perfectly mirrors the chaotic energy of toddlerhood. A premium unisex graphic tee for goth parents, dark humor enthusiasts, and anyone looking to generate spectral foot-traffic.

• Ages 36 Months to Eternal Damnation
• Do not use to contact un-optimized historical figures
• Disclaimer: Deceased relatives may critique your parenting style

Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex jersey tee, retail fit, 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²). 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. Ribbed knit collar. Tapered shoulders. Dual side seams. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.