My First Necromancy Shirt — Funny Occult Graphic Tee

They said early childhood development requires sensory play, object permanence, and piercing the veil of the afterlife. We took the indestructible, hyper-safe, primary-colored plastic of 1980s daycare centers and slapped it on this extremely soft My First Necromancy t-shirt. Why let them wait until their twenties to confront the howling void when they can drag souls back from the abyss before they are potty trained?

Featuring a choke-safe, oversized planchette graphic perfectly designed to mock the living. Stripped of gothic horror, necromancy is really just mildly inconveniencing a deceased person—which perfectly mirrors the chaotic energy of toddlerhood. A premium unisex graphic tee for goth parents, dark humor enthusiasts, and anyone looking to generate spectral foot-traffic.

• Ages 36 Months to Eternal Damnation
• Do not use to contact un-optimized historical figures
• Disclaimer: Deceased relatives may critique your parenting style

Bella+Canvas 3001 unisex jersey tee, retail fit, 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²). 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton. Ribbed knit collar. Tapered shoulders. Dual side seams. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.