Pocket Molars — Creepy Tooth Dispenser Hoodie

Childhood nostalgia is a disease, so here is the cure. You remember the snap-back plastic head, the satisfying mechanical click, and the little chalky brick of sugar. We just swapped out the candy for the inevitable long-term result of eating it.

A perfectly normal pocket accessory for when you need a quick bicuspid on the go. Watch the light leave your coworker's eyes when you offer them a mid-afternoon refreshment and dispense a startlingly realistic adult molar directly into their open palm. An excellently weird hoodie for fans of dark humor or anyone seeking a deeply upsetting dentist gag gift.

The Fine Print:

• Does not include gums, nerve endings, or dental records.
• Do not ask where the inventory was sourced.
• Not recognized as legal tender by the Tooth Fairy.
• Chewing on these will void your remaining warranty on life.

A classic staple for unsettling your peers, designed for comfortable everyday hauntings.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.