Pocket Molars — Creepy Tooth Dispenser T-Shirt

Childhood nostalgia is a disease, and this weird graphic tee is the cure. You remember the snap-back plastic head, the satisfying mechanical click, and the little chalky brick of sugar. We just swapped out the candy for the inevitable long-term result of eating it: human teeth.

A perfectly normal everyday t-shirt for when you need a quick bicuspid on the go. Watch the light leave your coworker's eyes when they stare at this funny nostalgia parody shirt and realize what is actually being dispensed into that open palm. The perfect unhinged gift for your dentist, or just a deeply unsettling conversation starter.

The Fine Print:

• Does not include gums, nerve endings, or dental records.
• Do not ask where the inventory was sourced.
• Not recognized as legal tender by the Tooth Fairy.
• Chewing on these will void your remaining warranty on life.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.