Stay Informed Doomscrolling Shirt — Funny Psychic Damage Tee
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
A cheerful nod to the golden age of journalism, back when the morning headlines didn't instantly trigger a cortisol spike that shaved three years off your lifespan. We put this nostalgic Americana on a premium graphic tee because we know what you're actually consuming every time you open a feed: a piping hot bag of unhinged, weaponized psychic waste hurled directly at your skull.
It is your civic duty to wear this funny doomscrolling shirt and internalize the horrors of the world before breakfast. Ignorance is bliss, but the daily doom spiral is mandatory.
- Guaranteed to completely ruin your morning routine
- 100% locally sourced daily psychic damage
- Warning: Prolonged exposure to 'the discourse' will cause permanent brain rot
- Issued by Weird Castle Department of Information Warfare
Printed on a ridiculously soft, comfortable unisex t-shirt. True to size, but size up if you need extra room for your existential dread.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.