Steamboat Spinal Cord — Sticker

The world's most famously litigious rodent has been successfully optimized down to his core components. Behold the 1930s rubber-hose mascot stripped of all that inefficient fur, skin, and muscle, leaving only a cheerful, whistling brain and a swinging spinal cord on its way to the educational meat-grinder.

This is the official uniform for anyone currently operating as a fully exposed nerve. When your daily existence feels less like a magical kingdom and more like absorbing psychic shockwaves without a protective barrier, let this moist little bundle of overstimulated ganglia do the talking for you.

• Care instructions: Do not salt the mascot.
• Provides zero armor against fluorescent classroom lighting or institutional feedback.
• Officially licensed by absolutely nobody, especially not them.
• 100% pure, unadulterated cognitive overload.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.