Student Intake Procedure Sticker — Funny College Debt Decal
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
Issued by the Department of Human Capital Processing, this fully certified facility operations diagram walks you through the standard intake sequence — DEBT LOADING ZONE → COMPLIANCE CALIBRATION → OUTPUT CHUTE. Rendered in crisp rubber-hose institutional style, it looks exactly like a laminated safety poster bolted above an emergency exit no one uses. The real horror? You could slap this on a university bulletin board and nobody would pull it down.
- Facility designation: Accredited Processing Site #1–∞
- Estimated throughput: 4–6 years per unit, longer if unit asks questions
- Output specification: Compliant, leveraged, employable (not guaranteed)
- Do not obstruct the Output Chute: Units have been backed up since 2008
Printed on durable, weather-resistant vinyl, this premium decal is perfectly rated for laptops, water bottles, and the crushing weight of institutional loans.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.