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Student Intake Procedure Sticker — Funny Student Debt Decal
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Surface: White
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
Issued by the Department of Human Capital Processing, this fully certified facility operations diagram walks you through the standard intake sequence — DEBT LOADING ZONE → COMPLIANCE CALIBRATION → OUTPUT CHUTE. Rendered in crisp rubber-hose institutional style, it looks exactly like a laminated safety poster bolted above an emergency exit no one uses. The real horror? You could slap this on a university bulletin board and nobody would pull it down.
- Facility designation: Accredited Processing Site #1–∞
- Estimated throughput: 4–6 years per unit, longer if unit asks questions
- Output specification: Compliant, leveraged, employable (not guaranteed)
- Do not obstruct the Output Chute: Units have been backed up since 2008
Kiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
