Student Intake Procedure - Funny College Debt T-Shirt
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
Issued by the Department of Human Capital Processing, this fully certified facility operations diagram walks you through the standard student intake sequence: DEBT LOADING ZONE to COMPLIANCE CALIBRATION to OUTPUT CHUTE. Rendered in a crisp rubber-hose institutional style, this funny college debt t-shirt looks exactly like the laminated safety poster bolted above the university emergency exit no one has ever actually used. No sarcasm. Just procedure.
The real horror of this satirical university shirt is that it could go up on a real campus wall and nobody would pull it down.
- Facility designation: Accredited Processing Site #1-infinity
- Estimated throughput: 4-6 years per unit, longer if unit asks questions
- Output specification: Compliant, leveraged, employable (not guaranteed)
- Debt Loading Zone: Mandatory, non-negotiable, pre-arrival if possible
- Compliance Calibration: Continuous; see also GPA, attendance policy, vibes
- Do not obstruct the Output Chute: Units have been backed up since 2008
Printed on a ridiculously soft, standard-fit 100% cotton tee because you've already suffered enough uncomfortable situations.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.