The Michael Blueprint Poster — Funny Michael Myers

The undisputed pinnacle of late-twentieth-century bio-mechanical engineering. By synthesizing the relentless, unkillable stalking mechanics of Haddonfield’s favorite slasher with the anti-gravity lean and sequenced glitter of a pop deity, R&D has finally patented a device capable of terrifying a babysitter while hitting a perfect falsetto.

Rendered in the cold, unfeeling lines of an industrial schematic, this funny horror movie mashup decor exposes the inner workings of the ultimate hybrid organism. It is a testament to what happens when corporate innovation completely abandons ethics to focus on maximizing both body counts and global record sales.

• Subject will instinctively moonwalk past fleeing victims to optimize dramatic tension.
• Warning: Do not stare directly into the sequined butcher knife.
• Auditory sensors trigger unprompted crotch-grabbing and high-pitched vocalizations in the presence of teenagers.
• Patent null and void if exposed to open flame, gratuitous sequels, or 1990s documentary crews.

An unsettling conversation piece and the perfect weird gift for the movie buff whose two favorite genres are slasher and thriller.