It's satire. The hats are real.

Weird You Can Wear

Civil War veteran hats, pre-deployment gear, and other absurd apparel from a timeline that never existed.

Civil War Veteran Hat — Thank You for Your Service (1861-1865) - Image 1 of 10
Civil War Veteran Hat — Thank You for Your Service (1861-1865) - Image 2 of 10

Civil War Veteran Hat — Thank You for Your Service (1861-1865)

$38.00

Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving - Image 1 of 14
Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving - Image 2 of 14

Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving

$38.00

⚔️ Wore this to jury duty

🍔 Confused the Chick-fil-A cashier

💅 Became the family disappointment in style

⚔️ Wore this to jury duty

🍔 Confused the Chick-fil-A cashier

💅 Became the family disappointment in style

⚔️ Wore this to jury duty

🍔 Confused the Chick-fil-A cashier

💅 Became the family disappointment in style

⚔️ Wore this to jury duty

🍔 Confused the Chick-fil-A cashier

💅 Became the family disappointment in style

⚔️ Wore this to jury duty

🍔 Confused the Chick-fil-A cashier

💅 Became the family disappointment in style

⚔️ Wore this to jury duty

🍔 Confused the Chick-fil-A cashier

💅 Became the family disappointment in style

Discover the collections

The Shirt Offensive

The Shirt Offensive

50 items

The War on Baldness

The War on Baldness

44 items

All Products

All Products

181 items

I Love Cocks Tee - Image 1 of 3
Pornhub Hat
Certified Pussy Lover Tee - Image 1 of 4
Sips Tea Hat - Image 5 of 5
MAGA Hair Visor
Big Apple Hat - Image 2 of 3
Retired Drug Dealer Hat - Image 2 of 6
I Love Cocks Tee - Image 1 of 3
Pornhub Hat
Certified Pussy Lover Tee - Image 1 of 4
Sips Tea Hat - Image 5 of 5
MAGA Hair Visor
Big Apple Hat - Image 2 of 3
Retired Drug Dealer Hat - Image 2 of 6
I Love Cocks Tee - Image 1 of 3
Pornhub Hat
Certified Pussy Lover Tee - Image 1 of 4
Sips Tea Hat - Image 5 of 5
MAGA Hair Visor
Big Apple Hat - Image 2 of 3
Retired Drug Dealer Hat - Image 2 of 6
Please Be Patient, My Mom Took Tylenawl Tee - Image 31 of 32

Trusted by 10,000+ future veterans

Tilenal Exposure Advisory Collection

The Tilenal Exposure Advisory Collection is part of an ongoing public awareness effort to address the long-term effects of over-the-counter decision-making.

Whether exposure occurred in utero, postnatally, or recreationally, these garments provide immediate disclosure and social clarity. Each piece serves as a wearable advisory—reducing the need for unnecessary conversation, repeated instructions, or prolonged eye contact.

Engineered for comfort, embroidered for accountability.

This isn’t fashion.

This is pharmaceutical transparency in cotton form.

SPREAD THE MESSAGE
Weird Castle TV

He’s Not Racist. He’s Just From the 1800s

I remember both World Wars. And the one before that.

Buy
Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving - Image 3 of 14

You Fought for This Mess

The Civil War 2 cap, surrounded by everything we fought to protect:

Buy

Weird Products, Honest Reviews.

Honestly didn’t expect the quality to be this good.

"I bought the Civil War 2 hat as a joke for a bachelor party, but now I wear it everywhere. The stitching is clean, the fit’s solid, and it shipped fast. Got three compliments the first day."

Josiah I.

Verified Purchase

Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving - Image 1 of 14

Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving

$38.00

Are you ready to meet him?

Did you know?

3 Packs a day minimum for us

Eleven Minutes Closer Tee
Eleven Minutes Closer Tee

Eleven Minutes Closer Tee

$28.00

News, leaks, and questionable journalism.

Castle Dispatches

Weird Home Decor That Makes Your Space Actually Interesting

Your home says a lot about you. Right now, most homes say "I bought everything from the same big box store and arranged it based on a Pinterest board from 2019." That is not personality. That is a mood board for beige.The fix is simple: add one weird thing to every room. Not a gallery wall. Not a succulent. Something that makes a guest pause, squint, and say "wait, what is that?" That is when you know your space has character.Living Room UpgradesBrain Slice Coaster Set (10-Pack)Ten coasters that look like cross-sections of a human brain. Guests will use them, study them, and inevitably ask if you are a serial killer or a neuroscience major. You do not have to answer either way.Shop Brain CoastersMiddle Finger Duck StatueA rubber duck. Giving you the finger. King of the Pond Edition. Set it on a shelf, a mantle, or right next to the front door so it is the first and last thing anyone sees. Instant personality for any room.Shop Finger DuckBathroom AdditionsLive Nudes Shower CurtainNeon-style lettering that reads "Live Nudes" on your shower curtain. Technically not misleading. Definitely the kind of bathroom decor that gets photographed and texted to group chats.Shop Shower CurtainOffice and Desk EssentialsDeadlines Are Murder Pen HolderA pen holder shaped like a crime scene chalk outline. Every time you reach for a pen, you are reminded that corporate life is a slow-motion thriller. Pairs well with a resignation letter you will never actually send.Shop Pen HolderSarcastic Comment Loading Whiskey GlassKeep it on your desk. Fill it after 5pm (or 3pm on Fridays, we do not judge). A visual signal to your coworkers that you are processing something and they should probably not ask follow-up questions right now.Shop Whiskey GlassThe Self-Care CornerMy Last Nerve CandleLavender scented. The label says what you are thinking so you do not have to say it out loud. Light it after a long day and let the passive aggression melt away. Literally.Shop Nerve CandleMake Your Space YoursDecorating is not about matching everything. It is about placing things around your home that make you smile, make you laugh, or make your guests slightly uncomfortable. That sweet spot between "curated" and "chaotic" is where the best spaces live.Browse our full home and decor collection and add something weird to every room.

Gift Ideas for People Who Are Impossible to Shop For

We all have that person. The one who already owns everything, wants nothing, and answers every gift question with "oh I do not need anything." They are lying. They need something weird. They just do not know it yet.The trick to shopping for impossible people is to stop trying to be practical and start trying to be memorable. Nobody remembers a gift card. Everybody remembers the time someone gave them a jar of dehydrated water.For the Person Who Has EverythingDehydrated WaterThey have everything? Great. Now they have nothing, in a jar, beautifully packaged. It is the ultimate gift for someone who cannot be surprised, because nobody sees this coming.Shop Dehydrated WaterRetirement Plan - Fake Gold Bar SetFor the person who has everything except a solid financial plan. Twelve fake gold bars that look expensive, weigh nothing, and serve as a daily reminder that we are all just winging it.Shop Fake Gold BarsFor the Person Who Thinks They Are Too CoolSarcastic Comment Loading Whiskey GlassA whiskey glass for someone who thinks they are funnier than they are. Which is everyone who drinks whiskey. Let them sip their bourbon while their glass does the roasting for them.Shop Whiskey GlassMy Last Nerve CandleLavender scented. Passive aggressive. The perfect gift for the friend, coworker, or family member who is always "fine" but clearly is not fine.Shop Nerve CandleFor the Person You Do Not Know Well EnoughBrain Slice Coaster SetYou do not know their hobbies? Their favorite color? Their coffee order? You DO know they need coasters. And these coasters look like brain cross-sections, so at minimum it will be a conversation piece.Shop Brain CoastersHand-Holding Magnetic SocksUniversally giftable. Not too personal. Not too impersonal. Just weird enough to be memorable. The magnets make the socks hold hands, which is either adorable or horrifying depending on your threshold.Shop Magnetic SocksThe Gift-Giving FormulaThe best gift for an impossible person follows a simple formula: something they would never buy for themselves plus something that makes them laugh equals a gift they actually remember.Skip the generic stuff. Browse our full collection and find the thing that makes you think "this is so stupid, they will love it."

The Best Funny Hats for People Who Have Given Up on Looking Normal

There is a moment in every person's life where they stop caring about looking "put together" and start caring about looking memorable. That moment usually involves buying a hat with something unhinged written on it.At Weird Castle, our hat collection is built for people who have made peace with the fact that their personality is louder than their outfit. Here are some of our most popular (and most questionable) options.Hats That Start ConversationsCivil War 2 Veteran Core HatThe energy of this hat is indescribable. It is funny. It is alarming. It is the kind of hat that makes strangers cross the street. And that is why it is one of our bestsellers.Shop Civil War 2 HatBig Apple HatA hat for New York, for people who love New York, or for anyone who just wants to confuse people in any city that is not New York. The vibes are municipal.Shop Big Apple HatBrickhead HatBuilt different. Literally. This hat communicates everything and nothing at the same time, which is exactly the kind of energy a good hat should bring.Shop Brickhead HatTrucker Hats With AttitudeFunny Trucker Hats - Adjustable Mesh CapClassic trucker hat silhouette. Breathable mesh back. Something printed on the front that will make at least one person in every room uncomfortable. The holy trinity of headwear.Shop Trucker HatsSpeed Freak HatNot about actual speed. Maybe about actual speed. Either way it is a hat that raises questions and answers none of them. Perfect for gas station parking lot energy.Shop Speed Freak HatWhy a Good Hat MattersA hat is the first thing people see and the last thing they forget. A funny hat is a personality shortcut. You do not need to explain who you are, what you believe, or what your sense of humor is like. The hat does all of that in under three seconds.Browse our full hat collection and find the one that makes people either smile or slowly back away. Both are valid outcomes.

Funny T-Shirts That Say What Everyone Is Thinking

Your wardrobe is a press conference and your t-shirt is the statement. The question is: are you saying something worth reading, or are you just wearing a blank canvas like some kind of civilian?At Weird Castle, every graphic tee is designed to start a conversation, end a conversation, or make someone across the room snort-laugh into their coffee. Here are some of our favorites.For the Brutally HonestActually Not Funny T-Shirt (Red Flag in Helvetica)The words "Actually Not Funny" printed in clean Helvetica. No graphic. No embellishment. Just a warning label that lets people know what they are getting into. Perfect for the person who peaked in their controversial opinion phase and never came back.Shop This TeeRaccoon Nihilism TeeA raccoon staring into the void alongside the text "It Is What It Is And It Is Not Great." This is not a motivational shirt. This is a truth bomb in cotton form. Pair it with sweatpants and a thousand-yard stare for maximum effect.Shop Raccoon TeeBe Patient, I Took a Painkiller TeeFor when you need the world to lower its expectations of you immediately. Walking disclaimer energy. Pairs well with sunglasses indoors and zero follow-up questions.Shop Painkiller TeeFor the Secretly DangerousAsk Me About My Ninja Disguise TeePull the shirt over your head and it becomes a ninja mask. That is it. That is the product. And somehow it is the funniest piece of clothing ever made. Kids, dads, and fully grown adults who should know better all agree: this tee is essential.Shop Ninja TeeRetired Gamer TeeA controller graphic for the person who traded gaming for responsibilities and regrets it every single day. "Retired" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here because we all know they still play at 2am.Shop Gamer TeeAutism TeeRepresentation that is bold, unapologetic, and designed to be worn proudly. Because awareness is good, but visibility in a well-designed tee is better.Shop Autism TeeWhy Funny T-Shirts Actually WorkHere is the thing about a good graphic tee: it does the socializing for you. You do not have to be funny. You do not have to be interesting. You just have to put on a shirt that does both of those jobs while you stand there holding a drink.Every tee at Weird Castle is printed on quality fabric that actually feels good, because looking funny should not mean looking cheap. Browse our full t-shirt collection and find the one that speaks for you (so you do not have to).

The Weird Castle Guarantee

Fast & Reliable Shipping

Most orders ship in 1–3 business days from our U.S. bunker. You’ll get tracking before you can even regret your purchase.

Quality You Can Wear (and Wash)

We use durable, soft fabrics and long-lasting prints that survive laundry day and family BBQs.

Easy Returns, No Interrogation

Not a perfect fit? No problem. We accept returns or exchanges within 30 days—no guilt trip included.

Thousands of Happy Weirdos

Over 10,000 customers proudly wearing history’s worst ideas. You’re in questionable but good company.