Exposed Bone Polish — Hoodie

You have pieces of your actual skeleton hanging out of your face in a damp, bacteria-filled cavern, and if you do not aggressively scrub them twice a day, they will rot and fall out of your head. It is time we stop pretending this is a gentle, minty morning ritual. This is grueling industrial hardware maintenance.

Since you are, at your core, just a decaying meat vehicle trying to keep your skull-rocks from rusting, we plastered our premium abrasive compound label onto a heavy-duty pullover hoodie. It will not clean your teeth, but it will keep your torso warm while you perform your daily structural calcium scrubbing.

• Industrial-grade dark humor for dental professionals, hygienists, and skeleton owners
• Classic fit with a spacious front pouch pocket to hold your wire brushes and bristle-sticks
• If structural rotting persists, consult your authorized skeleton mechanic immediately

Gildan 18500 unisex hooded sweatshirt, classic fit, 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²). 50% cotton, 50% polyester. Pouch pocket. Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord. Ribbed cuffs and hem. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. U.S. delivery is free.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.