Exposed Bone Polish — Hoodie

You have pieces of your actual skeleton hanging out of your face in a damp, bacteria-filled cavern, and if you do not aggressively scrub them twice a day, they will rot and fall out of your head. It is time we stop pretending this is a gentle, minty morning ritual. This is grueling industrial hardware maintenance.

Since you are, at your core, just a decaying meat vehicle trying to keep your skull-rocks from rusting, we plastered our premium abrasive compound label onto a heavy-duty pullover hoodie. It will not clean your teeth, but it will keep your torso warm while you perform your daily structural calcium scrubbing.

• Industrial-grade dark humor for dental professionals, hygienists, and skeleton owners
• Classic fit with a spacious front pouch pocket to hold your wire brushes and bristle-sticks
• If structural rotting persists, consult your authorized skeleton mechanic immediately

Gildan 18500 unisex hooded sweatshirt, classic fit, 8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²). 50% cotton, 50% polyester. Pouch pocket. Double-lined hood with color-matched drawcord. Ribbed cuffs and hem. Direct-to-garment (DTG) print, front.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.