Extra Butter Molars — Funny Popcorn Teeth Blanket

The lights go down, the previews roll, and you reach a hand into that warm, grease-stained bucket. There is nothing quite like the deafening, bone-shattering crunch of enamel on enamel echoing through a silent auditorium to let everyone know you sprung for the jumbo size.

Skip the unpopped kernels and get straight to the calcium with this cursed novelty blanket. A full pound of high-gloss, freshly extracted bicuspids drenched in whatever synthetic yellow fluid the lobby pumps out of that warm nozzle. It is the ultimate concession stand flex for anyone who likes a little extra bite with their double feature.

• Small: 150 teeth. Jumbo: We do not ask where they come from.
• May contain traces of silver amalgam and plaque.
• No free refills if you bleed in the bucket.
• The perfect weird gift for dentists, movie buffs, and unhinged couch potatoes.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.