Final Girl Hoodie — Funny Michael Myers and Jason Slasher Parody

Printed as: “Fuck Your Final Girl”

Two unstoppably violent, completely mute horror movie icons taking a brief pause from hacking up teenagers to tell the world exactly how they feel. Why sprint through the woods after a screaming camp counselor when you can just stand on the porch, throw a photorealistic middle finger, and let them trip over a tree root all by themselves? This funny slasher parody hoodie is the ultimate crossover event for anyone who refuses to jog under any circumstances.

The machete and the butcher knife are taking the night off, but the pure, unadulterated hostility remains fully intact. An ideal gift for horror film fanatics, spooky season enthusiasts, and anyone who proudly sides with the villain.

• Zero words spoken, message fully received
• Does not grant supernatural power-walking speed
• Highly recommended for wearing to court, horror conventions, or your next family intervention