Final Girl Mug — Funny Michael Myers and Jason Slasher Parody

Printed as: “Fuck Your Final Girl”

Two unstoppably violent, completely mute icons of cinema taking a brief pause from hacking up teenagers to tell the world exactly how they feel. Why sprint through the woods after a screaming camp counselor when you can just stand on the porch, throw a photorealistic middle finger, and drink your morning brew in peace?

A beautiful crossover event dedicated to horror fans who refuse to jog under any circumstances. The machete and the butcher knife are taking the night off, but the pure, unadulterated hostility remains fully intact to help you survive early meetings.

• Zero words spoken, message fully received
• Does not grant supernatural power-walking speed
• Highly recommended for sipping ominously while watching teenagers trip over tree roots

The perfect aggressive novelty gift for slasher movie lovers, actual final girls, and anyone who prefers their morning beverage with a side of absolute malice.