Previously Functional — Funny Burnout Vinyl Sticker

Most industrial machinery gets a bright red tag when the gears finally grind to a halt. Humans just get an iced coffee and a Slack message asking for a quick sync. We bypassed the corporate wellness seminar entirely and issued this standard-issue decommissioning notice for your central nervous system. This funny burnout sticker isn't a cry for help; it's a matter of public safety. You used to work. Now you do not.

Designed to resemble a sterile mid-century factory inspection label, this vinyl decal is the most efficient way to communicate that your warranty expired sometime in 2019 and the replacement parts are currently stuck in a global supply chain bottleneck. Slap it on your work laptop to let management know the structural integrity of your psyche has been permanently compromised.

• Approved for total systemic failure and structural collapse.
• Do not attempt to reboot wearer with pizza parties or mindfulness apps.
• Factory reset impossible without a time machine and a trust fund.
• Certified structurally unsound for late-stage capitalism.

Made from durable, weather-resistant vinyl, this decal is perfect for water bottles, laptops, and hard hats. It will outlast your remaining serotonin.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.