Retain Nothing — Mandatory Reintegration Funny School Mug
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
You have been cleared for re-entry into the Mandatory Reintegration Cycle. This ceramic vessel has been issued by the Bureau of Compulsory Attendance to confirm your psychological status: compliant, depleted, and ready to absorb information you will not retain past the second Friday of October. Drink your morning coffee in first period. Let the institution see what it has made.
The Re-Entry Program makes no guarantees regarding the transfer of knowledge, but it does make an excellent funny back-to-school gift for exhausted teachers, college students, and anyone surviving the educational complex.
- 11oz ceramic mug issued pursuant to Annual Cycle Resumption Protocol
- Microwave and dishwasher safe (subject has demonstrated full compliance)
- Caffeine intake is recommended but will not be sufficient for 8 a.m. consciousness
- The perfect funny back-to-school mug for teachers, students, and institutional survivors
- No refunds. No appeals. See you next year.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.