Retain Nothing Sticker - Funny Back To School Decal

You have been cleared for re-entry into the Mandatory Reintegration Cycle. Slap this government-mandated adhesive warning onto your laptop, binder, or emotional support water bottle to confirm your psychological status: compliant, depleted, and ready to absorb information you will not retain past the second Friday of October. Let the institution see what it has made.

The Re-Entry Program makes no guarantees regarding the transfer of knowledge, the preservation of will, or the long-term viability of the subject. RETAIN NOTHING is not a warning—it is a mission statement, a track record, and an honest assessment of public education delivered in a single deadpan decal.

• Issued pursuant to Annual Cycle Resumption Protocol 9-through-June
• Subject has demonstrated full compliance with prior forgetting requirements
• Adheres firmly to laptops, notebooks, and state-issued property
• This decal does not constitute endorsement of consciousness before 8 a.m.
• The horrors are scheduled. Please consult your homeroom assignment.

Premium vinyl sticker. Durable, weather-resistant, and guaranteed to outlast your motivation for the semester.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.