Retain Nothing Sticker - Funny Back To School Decal

You have been cleared for re-entry into the Mandatory Reintegration Cycle. Slap this government-mandated adhesive warning onto your laptop, binder, or emotional support water bottle to confirm your psychological status: compliant, depleted, and ready to absorb information you will not retain past the second Friday of October. Let the institution see what it has made.

The Re-Entry Program makes no guarantees regarding the transfer of knowledge, the preservation of will, or the long-term viability of the subject. RETAIN NOTHING is not a warning—it is a mission statement, a track record, and an honest assessment of public education delivered in a single deadpan decal.

• Issued pursuant to Annual Cycle Resumption Protocol 9-through-June
• Subject has demonstrated full compliance with prior forgetting requirements
• Adheres firmly to laptops, notebooks, and state-issued property
• This decal does not constitute endorsement of consciousness before 8 a.m.
• The horrors are scheduled. Please consult your homeroom assignment.

Kiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.

Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.

Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.