RETAIN NOTHING Shirt — Funny Sarcastic Back To School Tee

You have been cleared for re-entry into the Mandatory Reintegration Cycle. This garment has been issued by the Bureau of Compulsory Attendance to confirm your psychological status: compliant, depleted, and ready to absorb information you will not retain past the second Friday of October. Wear it to first period. Let the institution see what it has made.

The Re-Entry Program makes no guarantees regarding the transfer of knowledge, the preservation of will, or the long-term viability of the subject. Attendance is mandatory. Learning is optional. Forgetting is assured. RETAIN NOTHING is not a warning — it is a mission statement, a track record, and an honest assessment of public education delivered in a single deadpan shirt.

• Issued pursuant to Annual Cycle Resumption Protocol 9-through-June
• Subject has demonstrated full compliance with prior forgetting requirements
• This garment does not constitute endorsement of consciousness before 8 a.m.
• The horrors are scheduled. Please consult your homeroom assignment.

Printed on a soft, breathable cotton-blend unisex tee because the dress code requires you to wear clothes. True to size, order up for a baggy fit to sleep in during lectures.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.