Sawed-Off Liar — Blanket

The ultimate biological workaround for a cursed wooden boy in the criminal justice system. A wordless, misregistered bootleg mascot staring you down with terrifying human teeth, a cheap track jacket, and a freshly sanded face ready to beat any polygraph test.

Perfect for your next deposition, late-night interrogation, or prolonged silence in the back of a squad car. He is not going to tell them anything, and even if he did, the physical evidence has been aggressively modified with a circular saw.

• Physical tells removed for legal reasons
• Features deeply unsettling human dentition
• Intellectual property theft executed poorly