Thoughts & Prayers Depleted Hat — Strategic Reserve Cap
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Size: One size
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
The government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most: oil, grain, rare metals. This is the official inventory record for the nation's Thoughts & Prayers stockpile. A single unit, rubber-hose-cartoon-rendered in loving bureaucratic detail, filed correctly, and marked DEPLETED on this printed trucker cap. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.
Deadpan-institutional critique wearing the costume of the institution itself. The horror isn't that it ran out. The horror is that it was ever managed by a department.
- ⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident
- ⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels
- ⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis
- ⚠️ No agency has accepted responsibility for the shortage
- ⚠️ The correct paperwork has been filed; the situation has not changed
Yupoong 6606 retro trucker cap. 74% polyester, 26% cotton. Mid profile, six-panel structured snapback. Permacurv® visor. Mesh back. DTF (direct-to-film) print, front panel.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
