Depleted Thoughts & Prayers Strategic Reserve Sticker

The United States government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most: oil, grain, and thoughts and prayers. This official inventory record for the nation's stockpile is a satirical vinyl sticker, lot-numbered and marked DEPLETED. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.

• ⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident
• ⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels
• ⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis; quantities were never sufficient
• ⚠️ A replenishment memo was drafted; it remains in committee
• ⚠️ Adheres perfectly to laptops, water bottles, and official state podiums

Premium die-cut vinyl sticker. Weatherproof, bureaucracy-proof, and designed to stick around longer than the news cycle.

Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.

Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.