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Depleted Thoughts & Prayers Strategic Reserve Sticker
- Printed to order in the U.S.
- Tracked to your door
- Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+
- 30-day returns
- A person answers your email
Ships fast, with tracking · Shipping details
Surface: White
Secure Shopify checkout · a person answers your email
About this item
The United States government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most: oil, grain, and thoughts and prayers. This official inventory record for the nation's stockpile is a satirical vinyl sticker, lot-numbered and marked DEPLETED. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.
- ⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident
- ⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels
- ⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis; quantities were never sufficient
- ⚠️ A replenishment memo was drafted; it remains in committee
- ⚠️ Adheres perfectly to laptops, water bottles, and official state podiums
Kiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order by our manufacturing partners, mainly in the United States — your item is made after you buy it, then shipped fast with tracking emailed the moment it leaves the printer. Free U.S. shipping on orders $20+.
Production and transit times are published as separate numbers in the shipping policy, so you can check them before you buy.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy. Questions go to a person, not a ticket robot: contact us.
