Student Processing Unit Sticker - Funny Dystopian School Decal
Printed to order · arrives in 5–12 days in the U.S. · free delivery
30-day returns · secure Shopify checkout · a human answers questions
About this item
Congratulations. Your unit has been enrolled. Per federal throughput standards, each Student Processing Unit arrives factory-configured with a functional INTAKE port, a calibrated COMPLIANCE MODULE, and AUXILIARY STORAGE rated for 47 lbs of irrelevant worksheets. Units are processed Monday through Friday and discharged upon reaching minimum viable standardization. The diagram is for operator reference only. The smile is pre-installed.
- INTAKE rated for curriculum, pledge of allegiance, and 11:47am pizza rectangle
- COMPLIANCE MODULE inspected quarterly; non-compliance voids warranty
- AUXILIARY STORAGE not responsible for lost permission slips
- DISCHARGE velocity subject to bell schedule and federal funding
- Unit happiness is cosmetic and does not affect throughput
Premium waterproof vinyl sticker. Ideal for laptops, water bottles, and standardized testing clipboards. Issued by Weird Castle Operations.
Shipping & returns
Everything is printed to order — your item is made after you buy it. Production takes 2–7 business days, then 3–5 in transit (U.S.) or 10–20 international. Most U.S. orders arrive within 5–12 days, with tracking emailed when it ships.
Returns are accepted for 30 days from delivery — see the refund policy.